He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
