In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
