well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
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Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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