maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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