Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
