Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
