I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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