my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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