I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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