So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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