"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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