Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
