this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
