I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
