Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
