is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
