How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
