I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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