I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
