the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
