Joe is yelling at the trees again.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
