so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Terrible idea I love it
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
