I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
