I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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