3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
