To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
