I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize