He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
