Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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