More tranny stories later!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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