Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
