He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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