is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
