i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
