This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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