but the lizard people decide everything anyway
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
