Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize