I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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