i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
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I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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