I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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