4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
