We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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