forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
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I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
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i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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