new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
