im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize