I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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