I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
