Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
