he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
And the cops told us we were all naked.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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