Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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