Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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