Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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