They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
