Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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