I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
