i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
