Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
