We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
