i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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