why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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