Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
