i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
