scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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