I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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