quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
