I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
