idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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