girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
