you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
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Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
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It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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